The obsessive pursuit of happiness

"How beautiful would it be... if one didn't have to think about happiness?". In The Brave New World, Aldous Huxley presents happiness as a means of social stability rather than personal fulfilment. This concept, I believe, is closely related to today's brave new world, where happiness appears to be the primary goal, not only something we ought to show to others, but also something we desperately chase for ourselves. But what if this "toxic pursuit of happiness" leaves us with the missed opportunity to live truly?
Here, I will explore our cultural obsession with happiness and the paradoxes of the toxic pursuit of happiness, and then tap into the neuroscience of Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin and Endorphins, which will provide a clearer picture of what real fulfilment is.

Cultural Obsession with Happiness

As I read that sentence, it echoed something I had felt but was never quite able to name: the quiet pressure to be happy, not just privately, but publicly and performatively. Happiness today represents not only a feeling but also a currency. We chase it, display it and fear its absence.

"Growing up, I learned through silence that sadness was shameful, something not to exhibit, to keep for oneself. Tears were met with withdrawal, sending a clear message: you must not feel too much, and if you must show your feelings, be sure to show only the "good ones". And so I became fluent in hiding."

Philosophy offers language for this pressure. Hedonism dominates our culture, spreading the emotional norms of extreme pursuit of pleasure and avoidance of pain. But hedonic motivation does not directly predict individual life satisfaction; eudaimonic motivation does. The latter, rooted in authenticity, emotional depth and meaning, appears absent in our society. The pursuit of pleasure and avoidance of pain is contradictory; genuine individual development and growth require hard work and discipline, which are unlikely to be achieved without struggle. Thus, this conflict that hedonic motivation creates leads to an obsessive pursuit of happiness, which, by repressing and avoiding the emotional depth it constitutes, undermines life satisfaction.1

Toxic Positivity

This constant pursuit of happiness can also be seen through toxic positivity. Wyatt (2024) reveals how, in the constant showcase of joy, sadness becomes taboo, excluding genuine emotional experience. This phenomenon becomes amplified on social media. Through the habitual action of posting, we create an idealised version of life; we learn to filter our pain, to feel shame for our authentic emotional experience, harming our mental health. This façade of constant happiness overlooks the necessity of validation for the full range of emotional experiences. "The constant exposure to others' highlight reels of happiness and positivity can create a skewed perception of reality, making individuals feel that their own lives are less fulfilling by comparison", until happiness seems to reach everyone but us, at least not in equal measure. This can lead to the concealment of one's true feelings and experiences, and is associated with lower self-esteem.2

The neuroscience of true satisfaction

In this world, where happiness is often regarded as the primary goal, and culture encourages us to hide our feelings, neuroscience presents a different story. Dopamine, a neurotransmitter also linked to pleasure and reward, appears not to spike when we achieve something (e.g., when we are on that awaited trip or obtain our degree), but rather in anticipation, when we expect it, plan for it, and act towards that goal. Recent work by Goedhoop et al. (2023) on rats clearly suggests that when rats are conditioned to press a lever to receive food, their dopamine release surges not when they consume the treat, but rather in anticipation of pressing the lever to receive it. In other words, the brain pleasure system is most active not in the moment of having but in the pursuit itself.3

So far, we may conclude that it's the anticipation that motivates us to keep going, giving us a positive emotional lift, as Dopamine subtly whispers: "What lies ahead will make you feel whole". But Dopamine is only the spark, the promise, the pull, not the glow. (and its oversimplified portrayal is often misused, reinforcing a hedonic culture of toxic happiness chasing)

True, emotional fulfilment, however, requires more than pursuit; it requires presence, connection, and emotional authenticity. The warmth of oxytocin, fostered not only through shared activities but also through the comfort of being held or listened to when having a tough day, is a natural anti-stressor that promotes general well-being and induces a reduction in blood pressure and cortisol levels.4 Similarly, exercising, making love, listening to music, laughing, having a good cry, practising mindfulness or facing struggles can contribute to the release of serotonin and endorphins that help regulate and balance one's mood, boosting well-being. 5

What is noticeable through all these examples is that these neurochemicals are released when we connect, reflect, and allow ourselves to feel, rather than chasing, by pausing, hugging, breathing, and crying.

These findings have philosophical implications. What if we stopped chasing happiness like a finish line? What if we allowed ourselves to feel everything in between, grief, hope, and sadness? What if that sadness isn't a failure but a form of truth? I read, ironically online, "Life is what's happening while you are making other plans". Then, what if life also happens when we are told to hide, in the tears we swallow, and in that longing we mistake for lack, as true satisfaction, it seems, lives in the longing.

This article is not a shout to overshare or be vulnerable in a place we do not deem safe. Instead, it is a call for awareness. Awareness we ought to ourselves, as happiness is not the finish line, is just a momentary part of a spectrum of different shades of life.

Reference:

1. Sun, W., Liu, L., Jiang, Y., Fang, P., Ding, X., & Wang, G. (2023). Why are hedonists less happy than eudaimonists? The chain mediating role of goal conflict and mixed emotions. Frontiers in Psychology, 14. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1074026

2. Wyatt, Z. (2024). The Dark Side of #PositiveVibes: Understanding toxic positivity in modern culture. Psychiatry and Behavioral Health, 3(1). https://doi.org/10.33425/2833-5449.0016

3. Goedhoop, J., Arbab, T., & Willuhn, I. (2023). Anticipation of appetitive operant action induces sustained dopamine release in the nucleus accumbens. Journal of Neuroscience, 43(21), 3922–3932. https://doi.org/10.1523/jneurosci.1527-22.2023

4. Uvnas-Moberg, K., & Petersson, M. (2005). Oxytocin, ein Vermittler von Antistress, Wohlbefinden, sozialer Interaktion, Wachstum und Heilung [Oxytocin, a mediator of anti-stress, well-being, social interaction, growth and healing]. Zeitschrift fur Psychosomatische Medizin und Psychotherapie, 51(1), 57–80. https://doi.org/10.13109/zptm.2005.51.1.57

5. Dsouza, J. M., Chakraborty, A., & Veigas, J. (2020). Biological connection to the feeling of happiness. JOURNAL OF CLINICAL AND DIAGNOSTIC RESEARCH. https://doi.org/10.7860/jcdr/2020/45423.14092